Why did the chicken cross the road? Let’s ask Henry David Thoreau!

At a certain season my chicken decided to withdraw from coop society, having enjoyed the company but seeking to discover himself.  So the chicken withdrew from the coop and crossed the road to stay at Walden Pond where it lived in an isolated coop away from all other chickens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Let’s ask Sarah Kemble Knight!

Rising about 8 in the morning, I with the chicken and the post proceeded forward without observing anything remarkable; and about two, afternoon, arrived at the post’s second stage, where the chicken crossed the road and departed my company to return to its hen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Let’s ask John Adams!

As I write this letter to you, dear Abigail, I am most distressed to discover that the postal system has been rendered temporarily disbanded due to these tumultuous times.  Therefore I entrust this letter to this smallest of chickens that it may cross the road that separates us and deliver this letter to you safely…

Why did the chicken cross the road? Let’s ask Walt Whitman!

Chickens do not repel the past or what it has produced under its forms or amid other politics or the idea of castes or the old religions, but knowing that the leaves of grass are ever greener on the other side pursue to cross the road that its action will descend to the stalwart and wellshaped heir who approaches and that it shall be fittest for its days.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Let’s ask Edgar Allan Poe!

The chicken walked in lonesome stride

Along the road’s abandoned side.

Then glancing o’er the street he swore

He saw the visage of Lenore:

That sweet hen whose passing wrought the

Heart of his into a knot. He

Turned and chased the phantom Lenore,

Returning this way nevermore.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Let’s ask William Bradford!

When by the grace of the Farmer and the diligence of some godly and zealous roosters, many chickens became aware of their ignorance and by the Farmer’s grace were transformed.  Yet there remained a great number of chickens who still lived in their ignorance of the Farmer and preached false teachings in their chicken huts.  So the enlightened chickens chose to abandon the lost chickens and moved north along the great road, trusting to find more devout chickens who truly knew the Farmer and followed his ways.  However, the chickens to the north were less devout than the chickens from their home.  Then the righteous chickens heard of the vast and unchickened lands across the road.

Returning to their home, the pious chickens sought permission from the Great Chicken to cross the road in order to populate the new lands and live in righteousness.  They were given permission and they formed a great flock to cross the road.  However, some unrighteous chickens also joined the flock, hoping to find great plenty of feed on the other side.  The journey was tumultuous, and the sun baked the chickens’ feet and the winds blew the chickens off their course.  One unrighteous chicken in distress cursed the Farmer and the righteous chickens, so it pleased the Farmer that he was struck by a passing car and devoured by the buzzards.

Upon reaching the distant side of the road the chickens were beset upon by a vicious winter, but through the grace of the Farmer many righteous chickens survived.